Suspects Identified in the Defacing of Dorito’s Discord Server

Satire Warning: This post is a satire post not intended to be taken seriously by anyone. Doritos are a Legendary Army and a valudable part of our CPAL Community. We do not in any way endorse the defacing of their server, and we fully condemn any such acts that are carried in our community. 

SLUSHY, CP Army League HQ: As the days pass on, we not only see CPPS’ being wiped off, we now also see Discord Servers being wiped off. In tonight’s special edition of “Who did it?”, we investigate the possible suspects in the recent case of the Defacement of the Doritos Server.

Our team of Investigators at CP Army League have come up with several possible suspects to this horrendous case. While we currently do not know for sure that the person responsible was someone from the community, or even on this list – as you will begin to see, there are several people with clear motives making them perfect suspects. Without further ado, we present to you our first suspect.

The Pirates of Club Penguin

Last week saw tensions between the Doritos Army and the Golds Empire escalate as the Doritos openly declared War on the Golds Empire. The Golds knew that were at a disadvantageous position and instead called upon the number one army of Club Penguin to come to their aid. Confident about their abilities, the Pirates came on to defend the Golds Server as the reigning number one army of the league, only to get wiped clean by the Doritos 2-1. The Pirates were dealt a severe blow to their image as the number one army and this gives the Pirates clear motive to deface the Doritos Server. Taking out the Doritos would mean the Pirates could go back to their hegemonic reign. So was it the Pirates?

Da Best

Former reporter and potential future Army League Legend, Da Best, is my prime suspect. Reason being is that it is well known that he takes his roles of any form of power very seriously. The former 6ic for the Ice Warriors, Leader of Janitors, reporter, as well as many other things has been someone that lives by the phrase, “keep your friends closer, but your enemies closer”. To elaborate, his list of enemies is long, but his most prominent enemies include Regan, and 32op. Seeing what I’m seeing? 32op, leader of the Doritos, was one of his enemies. The reason why is because 32op fired Da Best as a reporter due to him taking too long to get out a post about an army that he was assigned to report on. This firing really got to him and he began taking his anger out on anyone and everyone. Da Best would have wanted to take his anger he had towards 32op by defacing the thing that 32 loves most, the Doritos Discord server. Da Best has since then been banned, and has rejoined the Army League server in an attempt to potentially add more enemies, or strengthen existing ones.

Madhav 2

Before I get into why Madhav would have any connection with this scandal, let’s make one thing very clear. Isn’t it funny how this is the second scandal that Madhav has been involved in? If you have been living under a rock, or you are new to the community, Madhav was identified as a potential suspect in the attack of fellow Ice Warriors leader, as well as good friend, Agent 11, who was involved in a brutal IRL attack a few months prior.

Madhav would be the most unexpected suspect on this list in my opinion. The reason why is because, since the unusual alliance between the Ice Warriors and Doritos, 32op and Madhav have had quite the bromance grow between the two of them.

For context, 32 LOVES when Madhav dresses as an animal on CPATG, and whenever Madhav has the chance, he puts on his “cutest animal outfit” and sends it to 32.

So why is Madhav a suspect in this brutal deface? Well, it’s quite obvious. Madhav is clearly jealous of Rah, another leader and lover of 32. Its also clear that Madhav and 32op are friends and apart of a bromance because Madhav wants 32op all to himself. Sorry Rah, but Madhav is pulling a “Mr steal your boy”. If Madhav defaced the DCP server, it could have been to try and drive 32op out of DCP once and for all so that they can finally be together in Ice Warriors, where Madhav believes he belongs.

Further proof of Madhav’s “mr steal your boy” mentality can be seen below in another picture.

In this photo, it is clear that Madhav (middle) is attempting to come between Rah and 32op. Coincidence? Doubtful.

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Since the DCP Discord server was defaced, no suspect was identified. It is the job of Army League reporters to bring justice. Seen above is 3 potential suspects to this brutal attack of the DCP Server. Further suspects have yet to be identified, but the 3 possible suspects are considered at large and very dangerous. Army leaders, beware. The attack could happen again. Take proper precautions and make sure your server is safe.

Who do YOU think defaced the DCP Server? Is it one of the three listed above? Or is it someone/a group of people that were not listed in this article? Please leave your comments below.

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Fusion

Army League Reporter

One Response

  1. uh wdym? Its obviously lard. 32 banned him right? so he wants revenge. 32, just unban Lard. #JUSTICE4LARD

    Like

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