[SATIRE] Why Sarahah is the Worst CPAH Editor in Existence

ALASKA, CP Army Hub Headquarters– Something that the majority of the community might not be aware of is this: We as reporters/reporting heads have due diligence to be unbiased when it comes to our reports. But as of late, it appears that one of our reporting heads has clearly violated these terms of unbiasedness. Our very own Editor in Chief, Sarahah, has shown clear signs to being biased when it comes to us, as reporters.

[Satire Warning: This article is by no means a way to disrespect CPAH Staff.]

SHE ADMITTED IT

Let’s start at the beginning shall we? Here is a bit of backstory in this unbelievable accusation that I made up. Before ANY post at the CP Army Hub goes out, it must be edited by a reporting head; either an Editor in Chief or an Associate Producer. In my own experience, everyone that makes up those two ranks, EXCEPT Sarahah has given incredible feedback which has actually HELPED me improve my writing. For example, Scorpion Demon, another Associate Producer at the time of this screenshot, gave me good feedback in a post that I made about Madhav 2 retiring from the Ice Warriors. Within this feedback, which you all soon will see, he gave me feedback as to how the post could have been improved.

Actual GOOD feedback from former Associate Producer Scorpion Demon

As you can clearly see, this is the type of feedback that we as reporters need. Yes, the post I made about my dear friend could have used some work, but I learned what the reporting heads wanted from this rather than walking away from a feedback session depressed. The evidence is there, Sarahah has time and time again given me AWFUL feedback which really made me feel like a low-quality reporter.

Need I remind you all, prior to reporting for CPAH, I reported for CPAL and did STRICTLY SATIRES. One of the pieces that I did was an investigation as to where Alberto, Leader of the Alberto Warriors has gone. This has yet to be uncovered. My most proud accomplishment in my reporting career was a piece entitled, “Army League Investigates Badboy’s Work Environment”, in which I sent an individual from the community to investigate former Doritos leader, Badboy, and his workplace (Dunkin Donuts, of course).

Now, back to the topic at hand. I have been working in CP Army Hub as a reporter since the merge and I have only gotten positive feedback from Miss Haha once.

Miss Haha’s positive feedback

You may have noticed that in this article that she is reviewing that I wrote about Meerrkat’s return to the community, where he joined the Romans as a leader. Now, if you have eyes and a brain, it is clear to see that Meerrkat and Sarahah are clearly in a relationship, which has been very public in this community. The one question I have is this: ISN’T IT A LITTLE FUNNY HOW I GOT GOOD FEEDBACK ON A REPORT WHEN IT WAS ON HER BOYFRIEND? Something is clearly not adding up here.

Still don’t believe that she is biased? Let me show you some more evidence.

Terrible feedback Sarahah. The post was great and you know it. I didn’t know this post was about the history of Crystal Cowboys. I thought it was about the very exciting fact that they got NOT ONE, NOT TWO, but THREE new leaders for their army, and you want history?! In all seriousness, yes the post could have been a little longer, but I was trying to highlight the topic overall.

We at CP Army Hub had the awful opportunity to catch up with Sarahah about her biased editing for us reporters.

Yeah, whatever, my first question is how dare you.

it had to be done fusion.

When it comes to editing, is the presence of Meerrkat’s name an automatic point booster?

Off the record, yes, cause i love meer and anyone who writes a post about him deserves a 10/10. not only is meer is AMAZING person in the community, writers who report on him, are my favorite reporters (don’t tell max)

Too bad everything you say is on the record, and I will be telling max. Do you need an intervention? Or will this interview scare you enough?

DO I NEED AN INTERVENTION?! clearly, i have been doing a fabulous job in my position! i haven’t even gotten ANY negative feedback until now. clearly, YOU are the problem here. i am not scared at all :slight_smile:

In all seriousness, Sarahah is (semi) decent when it comes to editing. We sure do appreciate the work she does (sometimes), and I am grateful to have her as a friend, just not an editor. Something needs to be done. Next time there is a topic involving Meerrkat, I am encouraging ALL reporters to protest this topic because you might just get unrealistic feedback. It is also clear as day that she has terrible grammar in her interview answers. Maybe WE should do the editing instead of this biased rubbish we have been experiencing.

What do YOU think? How should the reporters respond to such feedback such as mine that I have been receiving? What should be done with Miss Hahah and her editing antics? Be sure to let us know in the comments below!

Fusion

CP Army Hub Reporter

3 Responses

  1. LMFAOOOOOOOOO :slight_smile:

  2. I suggest that henceforth, all posts be edited by Scorpion, Max, Sophie, Rosie and the occasional Lucifer so as to remove all traces of faulty feedback from the ranks of the CP Army Hub. Yes, that means, I’m implying that we overthrow Sarahah and let me take over as the only Editor in Chief. jkjk I’d resign if that happened Sarahah’s daily responsibilities are stress and stress and stress. xdddd

  3. welp :sadcat:

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